1) What do you think change a friend to a best friend? Do there need to be a big experience for that to happen?
2) What are the important qualities that you seek in a best friend?
3) What things that you would tell your best friend that you would not tell to a normal friend? How comfortable do you feel telling those things?
4) How do you think you act differently in front of your best friend than when you were just a friend with that person? What actions/things would you not do to a best friend compare to a normal friend?
5) How do you know whether you can be best friend with that friend/acquaintance/just first met person? And what do you do to make a best-friend-connection with that person or how do you develop that best-friend-connection?
6) Would you treat yourself the same as you treat your best friend?
Person #1
1) "I am not too sure what change a friend to a best friend. I don't believe that big experience is needed. However, communications and learning more about each other is what change a friend to become a best friend."
2) The initial question is what are qualities or need that you have for/in a best friend, but then I changed it to the question now. She answered, "I look for cheerful personality, they respect everybody and could be very supportive to one another is what I look for as a friend". Then I asked her if good listener is one and she said, "Yes, definitely, a good audience".
3) "I would tell very personal feelings to my best friend than a normal friend such as personal crush, family events that happened, or just anything that I feel that I want to express". Then I asked her about how comfortable she would be and she said, "I am very comfortable to tell those personal stuff to my best friend because I know that she will be a great listener and would support me in any way she can".
4) "I don't think I would act that much different, maybe just the topic of the conversation would be different. I wouldn't say that much personal stuff to a friend."
5) "I am not too sure if I can answer that correctly, but I believed to develop best friend connection, lots of communication is needed and tolerance as well, you never know who is your best friend until you met that person and have a very good conversation with them". Since she said she wasn't too sure, I asked her what percentage does she think you have to connect with that friend to turn them into a best friend? She answered that she "share common interests around 50-75% in order to "turn" them into a best friend".
6) This question got her thinking since she said, "uh...hm... I think I would treat my friend better meaning that I would sacrifice what I can for my friend". Then I asked her how big her sacrifice would be but she said she's "not that sure, depends on the situation" and she gave an example that she will "sacrifice [her] time for this friend".
Edit on Question (May 14, 2010): Does having a best friend help reduce loneliness?
New Interview Questions:
1) Do you have a best friend? If not, why?
2) On a scale of 1-10, how lonely do you feel not having a best friend and on a scale of 1-10, how happier do you feel when your best friend is around?
3) Why do you think many of us need a best or close friend?
4) Why do you think you feel happier than lonely when talking with your best friend?
5) How does it feel expressing your problems to your best friend and do you feel better after talking especially when that person is your best friend?
6) What makes your loneliness go down when you have a best friend?
Person #2
"I feel like if you just have 1 friend, then you can call that person your best friend but if you have a little group, then you can have 'favorites' so no best friend."
1) No, she does not have a best friend. She said it is "because I tend to hang out in groups of four and if I did, other people would get offended". So I asked her why do you think they would get offended and she answered it was "because they are not the ones getting special treatment and the ones who do not have that special connection". I was like okay...
---And so the next few questions, I had her feel or guess what it is like, at least that can be a predictable answer for a person who don't want to create a best friend-relation
2) Loneliness: 5, Happiness: 10, but she said for the loneliness it is if she has friends so I told her to elaborate and she said, if I have friends, it would be 5, but if I am a loner, then it is 3.
3) "Hm.... To feel special". And then I asked if she want to feel special. She replied, "I do, I used to have a special with each person in the group"
4) "Because.... you're with someone you know who cares about you and every human being needs to feel loved..."
5) "Eh, I guess I would... because you know that the person genuinely cares so you know that whatever you tell that person is between the you two."
6) "Hm, having someone to share your experiences with you and someone to be there when you need someone."
Person #3
1) Yes, more than one
2) Loneliness: 8, Happiness: 9 when with friends
3) "Because they can feel less lonely" and since I needed more answer, I asked him why do you think they would feel less lonely? He answered that "they have someone to talk too". I told him that he seems to the extroverted type, where he likes to talk with others but he said, "sometimes because it goes both ways. I mostly help myself and others but if they want to help me, I don't mind".
4) "You are happier because you are with your friend and there is someone to talk too".
5) "It will make me feel better if I told my friend what is happening but sometimes I don't want to get them involved if there is a situation like that" and I asked him what kind of situations and he said, "something that is going to involve them in".
6) "Just having someone around you will make you feel less lonely."
Person #4
1) "Yes I do have a best friend."
2) "Lonely 10, happy 10." o.o... I thought he is a nice person to feel like that and when I said "you're nice", he replied, "I am".
3) "We all need someone for support because that person understands you better than most".
4) "The fact that he or she is your friend" because "It's like having a family member you trust with everything" and "I trust them with everything, no secrets".
5) "Expressing my problems are difficult but helpful."
6) "Just their presence and seeing them happy." A very cheerful guy~
Analyzing
I thought many of their answers are similar and that having best friend(s), or even friends help reduce the loneliness because there is someone to talk to, which for best friends are more trustworthy, have a special connection with the best friend and his/her support when something happens. I think that is the general patterns in which deeper relationships work so I did not really ask for elaboration on many of the questions unless needed because it just seems natural that like those questions and I think others as well, we almost only have one answer. It is different for people who do not create a best-friend connection, and so person #2 has more to say, and I think, more thoughts into why having best friend might distant other friendships. And seeing the second question where it is the 1-10 scale of loneliness and happiness, all of them answer they are happier when there best friends are around and lonelier when they are not. Reasons that reduce the loneliness is the large and deep connection with another person that we can share our most, or at least deeper than the surface of our thoughts/feelings to others. When we have that deep link, like a bright lit light bulb, we feel happier but then when our link is quite on the surface, the light is not that bright. I am not sure about those who have no best friends but think that all their friends are equal, whether they would feel lonelier or so, or that they are okay with not having best friends.
Extra thought: I wonder if I can find deeper reasons into why connections with each other, especially in the best-friend connection, help reduce loneliness but are there more loneliness when there is a fight? .... I think I will research more on that.
Website sources on loneliness:
Survey Question:
Having the presence of your best friend in anytime and greater in worst situations/circumstances help you reduce your loneliness?
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