I am not sure how kids should be parented because I think it is hard to be parented and parent someone. Everybody has different ways and I do not have a clue to what is the best way to take care of a child. But one thing that I would let my kid do is do what she/he wants, and I will provide the support as best as I could and set some standards for myself for both of us to be equal. I think the first guiding principle in parenting is love because if a parent do not love the child, what is the point of having one? There may be circumstances that led to having a child even though the parent do not want one but then, I think there needs to be love between the parent and child. I think once the parent provides enough love to the child, as the child grow up, the relationship between the parent and the child would balance. Once the love is constructed, then the rest of the parenting road will become easy, I think... Like the child would listen or obey the parent better and it would become both child-centered and parent-centered. Because a parent is once a kid and parents do act like kids once in a while and the kid would act like an adult once in a while so both have to put up with each other and help each other. I think co-sleeping is an important thing that parents have to do with their child because it would make the child feel that his/her parents are there if something happens at night, like the child having a nightmare. Another thought that I had was that the child like to sleep near the stomach because he/she was in the mother's womb and I think the child would feel closer to the mom or dad like the child had when he/she was in the mother's womb. Additionally, I think there are more warmth, which all the children need from their parents.
If I am put in the situation of parenting someone, I would be having a hard time and think how my parents had parent my sister and I. I think many children think that their parents do not care about them if they neglect them long or yell at them for a little thing they had done but I believe that parents have their reasons for yelling or neglecting them. They had their frustration time taking care of us when we were little and still taking care of us when we get old. But sometimes the kids get yelled at for no reason and I think that needs to be changed. If I parent, I would listen to my child more carefully and hold my temper down even if they did something outrageous because it is the parent's responsibility to protect their child and tried to make the child see whether he/she did something wrong or that it is not his/her fault. But anyhow, I think it all depends how well the relationship is between the child and I. Sometimes, the relationship will flow and sometimes it would go badly and then I would feel that I am not suited for parenting, which I think everybody would feel like that once they become a parent.
I do not think parenting will "come naturally" for many of us but we would research on multiply perspectives or talk about it with our family members. I think it is a nervous situation at first when thinking of having a child but it is a joy to think about having a child and the parents would begin planning all these events that they would put in their child's life. I think it is better to talk to someone who had a child than reading books because I think we would get the feelings more looking at the parent and her/his child. I find that informal research such as talking with family members or other parents with children are better as it could create better experiences in talking out with them, expressing the feelings inside of us and they could give suggestions, maybe better. Research formally might help but it would only provide a few answers as to what we really want to know and its rather concrete, and we can follow it, but I rather create my own ways. (Hope you understand what I mean...)
I think babies should be treated like puppies because they are cute and fragile. And I do not think they would understand adult words and neither would we understand them with their baby languages. So, I think we should go by the baby languages instead of the adult languages.
When I finished reading "Diana Baumrind & Parenting Styles", I thought that all the parents have some of the 3 of the parenting styles, permissive, authoritarian and authoritative but they would like to be the authoritative parents the most because they would want their children to become "lively and happy disposition", "self-confident about ability to master tasks", "well developed emotion regulation" and etc. I would want to be an authoritative parent after reading about the child qualities but I think that creates many of responsibilities on me and on the child. I would try to be an authoritative parent but also creating a good relationship with my child but my child would grow up the way he/she is and also setting some rules in the house for both of us to follow, or mostly for the child so I guess, to help her learn some manners and for her own responsibilities when she grew up. I do not just want to be an authoritative parent but I also want to be a friend of my child and "authoritative" sounds like the parents are on the top of the child instead of both at the same level. I would try to create that kind of parenting as best as I could and to have myself to cope with my child because it was my responsibility that I had the child and so, I had to respect my child. I do not want her to feel that she is here not loved or to have her be my subordinate. I am here for her to use as well as I use her and that I am here to support her anyway that I could is what I would imagine my parenting to be like.
In the Attachment Parenting, I thought that connects to what I had said in my thoughts, that it is better to do informal research than formal research. It is better to do research on our own babies than go online or as experts because they are not the experts of our babies. We have to be observant if we want to attach ourselves better with our babies and understand our babies more. The first thing on attachment parenting is birth bonding and that is similar to showing love to the babies by being near them more and coming together of the parent and the child. It is all about closeness that lets the parent and child understand and feel each other more. But I wonder when does this attachment ends? How would the baby or as he begins to grow up begins to drift away from the attachment and would he feel really sad during the period he drifts away or is it different with genders?
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